HOW TO DEAL WITH YOUR DISAPPOINTMENTS

“Man can be destroyed – But not defeated” These were the words of taiye bada, a Nigeria author, a journalist and most of all a man who lost hope, when his fiancée Agnes changed her mind at the last moment and married another man. He resorted to Alcohol in order to deal with this greatest disappointment of his life.

Disappointments are common to all of us and each one of us has our own coping mechanisms. It should be noted however that the grace of God is the greatest coping mechanism of all and how we respond to our disappointments determine whether or not will experience His grace. Today I am going to share three Christ like responses all of us can follow at times of disappointments so that we can receive His grace.

  1. Deal with your emotions

(A) Disappointments cause many undesirable emotions. They become harmful to you and people around unless handled properly.

(B) Examples of such emotions: anger, un-forgiveness, frustration, hopelessness, and long lasting sorrow. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you to deal with these.

(C) People who dealt with their emotions successfully: Naaman obeyed (2 Kings 5:11-14), Jesus restored Peter (John 21:15-17) and Job praised God (Job 1:20-21).

  1. Don’t blame others

(A) Blame is a very common method people use to cope with the pain of disappointments. This is a fruit of our sinful nature.

(B) Some blame God for disappointments. In the Bible though, people who overcame their disappointments actually never blamed God, (Job 1:22)

(C) Some blame others. It works sometimes, (Acts 6:1-5). But worsens the situation most of the time, (2 Kings 6:30-31). Don’t allow room to the spirit of blame in your life.

  1. Be realistic

(A) Someone said great expectations lead to great disappointments. Sometimes we get disappointed because our expectations were wrong, (Ruth 1:1-5; 20-21)

(B) God has given each one of us a certain measure of faith. Don’t think too highly of yourself, (Romans 12:3)

(C) Don’t expect God or even your spouse to behave the way you want. It’s simply unrealistic. It will never happen.

Application

Taiye refused to move on in life. One day he finally put a gun in his mouth and ended his life at the age of 61. God wants us to move on in life. In conclusion let me tell you three things we all should do so that we can keep moving despite disappointments.

(A) Taiye had a bright future and a life ahead of him but he allowed his emotions to drive his actions. I want to encourage you today, to deal with your emotions leave your disappointments at the cross so that you shall not miss the glorious future God has for you.

(B) Many people believe they can hurt others if they hurt themselves. Taiye probably thought the same. Unlike taiye, let’s forgive those who disappoint us, so that God can restore us.

(C) Let us not live in our own worlds like taiye but face the reality. God is sovereign and sometimes when we pray He will change us instead of our situations. If you are married, patiently learn to enjoy each other’s differences instead of trying to change them.

Conclusion

From now on, apply these three truths every time you are disappointed and God will give you strength and grace to move on.

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DEALING WITH EVIL FOUNDATION

                  Scriptures: Psalm 11:3, Jeremiah 16:19, Matthew 27:21-25

Every manifestation achievements of human beings have foundations

Foundation is:
– a vital aspect of one’s life that determines what comes next
– a solid ground on which the wall of a building is resting
– a basis/ground work of anything standing or that originates

Human foundation is a person’s past, deeds & activities, and those of his/her ancestors & entire lineage

                                 FACTS ABOUT FOUNDATION
– It is a platform prepare for your life by your ancestor
– It is ones root and origin upon which our life is built
– It is the bedrock upon which the structure of your life rests
– It affects your spiritual life, character, and social life
– It is hidden & invisible

                                  SIGNS OF EVIL FOUNDATION
1. Short life- This affects your vision & dream
2. Profitless hard-work
3. Aimlessness – Not living a purposeful life
4. Sickness that defile medical diagnosis
5. Unexplainable marital distress/bad marriage/relationship
6. General backwardness
7. Inability to receive the power of Holy spirit
8. Difficulty in making spiritual progress (fasting, praying, reading the bible)
9. Constant failure at the edge of breakthrough
10. Collective family captivity
11. Being hated for no reason
12. Difficulty in sustaining God’s blessings

* Don’t joke with your destiny. Always have a sense of purpose
* Learn to fight your battle now for your children not to inherit it

CAUSES OF EVIL FOUNDATIONS.

  • Idolatry; This is a system of government that the devil uses to control people. It seeks help from other things apart from God e.g. reading of stars to find out about one’s life. Idolatry binds the heart of people making it difficult to know God. It locks out God out of our lives, homes, church or community or village or nation. It challenges the ministry of Jesus Christ. It takes us into captivity. 1 kings 12:13 Jeroboam brought idolatry in Israel and caused the Israelites to go to captivity. It makes one become captive in their own land and foreigners to rule over the citizens. The land also rejects its inhabitants. It silences the voice of the prophet.
  • Evil altars and evil names e.g. Abram meant barrenness, Jabez – Pain, Jacob – Liar, Rueben- Unstable in his ways.
  • Anger; It influences our prophetic foundations negatively because it stops us from obeying the commandment of God e.g. Moses. The anger in Moses found in Ex 2:1 came from Simeon and Levi in Gen 49:5. Moses was from the tribe of Levi. Moses was a man of God and he led children of Israel from Egypt to the Promised Land but never reached it because of anger which made him strike a rock instead of talking to it as God had commanded him. Ps 106:32-33, says that Moses spoke rashly with his lips saying, “Dig my roots and bring all evils that would challenge me in my walk with God.”  It is clear that Moses’ foundations ended his ministry prematurely.

EFFECTS OF FAULTY FOUNDATIONS.

  • We can be anointed with polluted anointing and use it to do exploits for God.
  • In Jude satan came to fight for Moses’s body because of anger but, Angel Michael came to contend with satan.
  • If the hedge is broken the serpent is empowered to bite.
  • Check for any loop holes in your foundations. Moses was stopped at the last city before the Promised Land because of faulty foundations. Ps 106:32-33, look into the lives of those who have lived ahead of you. Your destiny can be stopped

 

WAY-OUT
1. Total separation from the family idol
2. Carry out a physical and spiritual research on your life & background
3. Ask for the blood of Jesus to cleanse you
4. Renounce your allegiance to the devil
5. Deal with satanic priest in-charge of your destiny

* When you disobey God, you disobey your destiny
* The devil you can’t locate you cannot dislodge

My prayer for you is that from these three lessons, you will identify and start dealing with the foundations in your life. Some prayer points that will help you include;

Eph 1:14-18, our investment is hidden in our foundations. We always need to pray thus, Lord open my eyes to see what the enemy has invested in me,

sAsk the Lord to arm you with boldness and strength to deal with my foundation,

Ask the Lord to strengthen your shoulders to carry the burden of my home, nation and church like Issachar and give me understanding.

Repent over the root of unforgiveness and anger. Go back to your roots and deal with all evil foundation teachings which have not been addressed in the church.

Ask the Lord to send you His delivering power and help me to deal with evil foundations.

Luke 4:18, Jesus came to speak deliverance to the captive. The Bible has been “closed” in the church as many people are not aware of the hindrance to enjoying their salvation.

Rom 8:20, creation groans and weights for the manifestations of the sons of God. You demon of my father’s house that attached itself to my life, leave me alone in Jesus name
Any evil foundation raised for my life, be crumbled in Jesus name

Evil foundation laid by my ancestors that is affecting my rising, break by fire in Jesus name
Every evil foundation speaking against my rising be uprooted in Jesus name
You power that tied my life to my father’s house, release me now by fire in Jesus name
I decree what stopped my father & mother in life will not stop me. Where they stopped I will not stop there in Jesus name
Blood of Jesus!!!!!!! set me free from every evil foundation
Every evil covenant attached to my foundation that is affecting every areas of my life, break by the blood of Jesus

Bottom of Form

GET MARRIED ON ANY BUDGET.

Most of the time we cry we want to get married and in such times we lack wisdom to be able to. The following are the wisdom you need to apply to be able to survive the wedding day and there after. Enjoy!

1.We want to get married, but no money! Common cry!
2. If you don’t smartly approach the issue, you may wrongly delay your marital plan because of money!
3. The reason why a lot of people will stay single for longer is that they want to marry like Debola or Catherine when they are Jerica! Oyinkansola
4. You must appreciate that we can’t all have the same kind of occasion especially because we can’t all afford the same type!
5. Having my wedding in a less expensive fashion than another person’s doesn’t mean my destiny is less than theirs!
6. If I want to have a decent journey at my wedding I must pay attention to the interplay of our desires vis-a-vis our capacity!
7. You won’t have everything you once desired about getting married and that’s not lack of faith, it is wisdom to accept that and be content with what you are able to muster!
8. Once you begin to hold unto some fantasies at all costs, you become inconsiderate and lose focus!
9. People involved in the wedding process will put burdens on you that you must decline! Marriage is ahead!
10. Make a list of what you want but can’t afford at this time, then begin to appreciate and polish what you can afford!
11. 3 assets: What can we afford? What can our faith afford? What can our supporters afford?

  1. If you don’t cut the spirit of competition against other wedding standards, you may be single for longer!
    13. This is your chance to begin your economic synergy! This period of consideration and reconsideration will tell you if you are economically compatible
    14. What is the most important part of a wedding? ‘Getting joined’ not the occasion that follow. Don’t lose sight of this!
    15. Do not let the cost of the wedding keep you away from the marriage! Marriage isn’t as expensive because it is one day a time and you can live it to plan!
    16. You don’t want to feed us on ‘credit’ and start your marriage in financial crisis when we have all returned home
    17. As far as the two of you agree on what you can afford, whoever can’t attend ‘such a low occasion’ should sign a Cheque or get lost!
    18. No matter what you do some people will still not get or have enough rice at your wedding! Chill
    19. God will not refuse to recognize your union because the cake wasn’t a particular size or if the ring isn’t pure gold!
    20. ‘He must engage me with diamond…marry me with gold! Babe, you are too cheap! Marriage is more expensive than those!
    21. Make sure you make the best of what you can afford! Wisdom doesn’t mean insensitive! Be smart with your ability
    22. Only grave digging begins at the top! Let the wedding be a starting point upward; don’t kill yourself to make it an end!
    23. Stay unified especially in Nigeria, a lot ‘uncles& Aunties’ will try to hold the remote control of your wedding!
  2. My lady, I speak to you square and clear! You are not about to be bought, if you could choose him, support him!
    25. Make a budget, know your limits! Know your strengths. Basically Plan nothing is above a couple that is unified by a plan!
    26. You need to plan early if your economic might is not heavy!
    Time affords you opportunity to strategize!
    27. When wedding is ahead, listen to each other more than family and friends on priorities because you two know your desires, priorities, fantasies and limits!
    28. Your wedding will not be the poorest neither will it beat Princess Diana’s
    Just make it your own!
    29. Own the process! Let each of you stand up to defend each other in your own family! Never criticize your spouse to be with them!
    30. Very soon nobody will remember your wedding! Some people will even forget the attended it! Don’t do it merely to impress
    31. Do you realize we are happier when we are true to our heart? Love your own occasion; contentment is a great way to start marriage!
    32. I am not trying to rob you the beauty of the wedding; I am simply calling on you to be considerate with your capacity so that you can enjoy what you can make
    33. Amplify your ‘to be’ spouse’s effort in the face of your family! Your family will soon start perceiving him the way your present him!
  3. Don’t follow a guy who wants to ‘marry you by faith’ when he has not clearly told you how much he has cash and how much precisely he is trusting God for! It must be totally an open process!
    35. Don’t beg but learn the strategy of asking! You will need support, package yourself and receive it with honour!
    36. One way to get great support is to give some key people benefit of knowing early, get your plan on their budget and schedule!
    37. Pay visits, go with wine! People love to support what honours them!
    38. One of your greatest achievement is to spend your first night together happy! Too many couple are bitter on that night because of wedding disagreements and conflicts! Stay united through the process! Do not allow money or bills or fantasies make you insist on what you can negotiate, until minor issues escalate to mega fires!
    39. When you meet some tough moments and a tear or two drops, look up to God, adjust whatever can be quickly adjusted. Keep moving, key is, nothing should steal your motivation, not even bills!
    40. Sincerely, in the plan you will meet some anxious moments! Dead no money ends but remember all of us who got married beat it anyway! Kill some bills by letting go of the ‘let-go-Ables’ and make sacrifices where you need to!
    41. My lady, it is not desperation to spend your money on the wedding! Spend it all as far as you picked a responsible man!
    42. Expensive doesn’t mean ‘best’
    Make the best of what you can afford!

Cheers

 

YOUTHS AND THE PRESENT DAY PROBLEM

Solomon advised, “Remember now thy creator in the days of thy youth…” (Ecclesiastes 12:11). God is concerned about the spiritual welfare of youth and so should everyone be, young and old. It is in the interest of and genuine concern for their welfare that this lesson is presented. Our lesson is primarily directed toward those who are in the days of their youth and addressed to them.

There are seven facts we first must recognize. One, young people are included among those for whom God is concerned. Two, there are many problems youth must face in this world. Three, they will not be young for very long. Time will take care of that. Four, today’s youth is not the first to face problems. Nor are they the only ones today facing problems. Five, youth is neither inferior nor superior to adulthood. Adulthood and youth are obviously not the same. They do not have the same responsibilities, opportunities nor capacities. Youths cannot be adults just yet and adults cannot now be youths. Adults have problems youths cannot solve, and vice versa. Farmers have problems and merchants have problems. Their problems, even though related, are not the same. Neither is superior to the other. Neither is inferior to the other. There is a great difference between adults and youths we must remember. Adults have once been youths, but youths have never been adults. Adults, therefore, have some advantage to see and understand both periods. Youths sometimes seem to forget this. Six, there are some matters which youths cannot yet handle because they are not in the position to handle them. There are matters of leadership, guidance, control and duty that pertain to adults that do not yet pertain to youths. Even though youths may be affected by many things over which they have no control, this is life. Such is true even in adulthood. Seven, there are many problems about which there is much that youths can do. In fact, if these problems are not handled now to the extent they can be, youths will be forever handicapped.

PREPARATION

  Youth face the issue of preparedness. Many who are now adults neglected this issue and now find adulthood overbearing. Youth is a time for preparing for future life. Actually, all of life is a time for preparing for eternity. But especially are the days of youth a time to set your standards. Too many youths build ceilings over themselves while young that they cannot penetrate once they are adults. Too many leave the years of youth and enter adulthood unprepared. They must become prepared socially, mentally, physically, and most important of all, spiritually. It is tragic that emphasis in placed on lesser preparations to the neglect of the spirit.

Youth is a time for education, though not exclusively for youth. No person is truly educated who is not acquainted with the Bible. As one becomes an adult he is forced into life that demands a state of readiness. If youths have failed to prepare they face immeasurable problems. While not yet encumbered with the duties and responsibilities of adulthood, young people need to avail themselves of opportunities to prepare themselves in all areas. Our advice to the young is, “Don’t blow your chances.”

IN A HURRY

 Young people often are guilty of pushing life. It may not do much good to even mention it, but it is something young people need to recognize. Youths always want to be older than they are. It is somewhat like adults wanting to be younger. Youths are impatient to “grow up.” They seem to think that everything worthwhile is for later life. Grass is always greener on the other side. This is not necessarily so. Each age of life has its blessings. Youths should give life all they can give it now in the days of youth and reap the harvest. Failing to get from life what is intended in youth will make adulthood less wonderful.

Youths are somewhat like green apples. If they are not allowed to ripen they will only be hard and bitter. You cannot push the maturing process too fast or it will backfire. Growth and development always takes time.

Many parents and other adults are guilty of pushing the young into maturity before they are ready for it. They encourage early dating, clothing that is immodest, adult activities and privileges, structured and controlled activities to the extent the child does not have time nor opportunities to ever be a child. Young people are not small adults. They are young people. We should let them get the fullest from that period of life without trying to make them little adults before they are adults. They cannot successfully be little adults. We see ten and twelve year olds dressed like they were twenty-five. It is a mark of offense against the child and a manifestation of some stupidity of the adults responsible. We see teens keeping hours like they were already mature. Many have freedoms and lacking guidance that only leads to their corruption. Then we wonder why some of them get frustrated with life and burned out on life before they have hardly entered adulthood. We can understand why some youths get bored with life so early. They have been forced to live it all before their time.

PEER PRESSURE

  Youths need to face the problem of social pressure called peer pressure. There is tremendous pressure to do what those around you are doing. All people, young and old, are subjected to the pressure to conform in order to be accepted and liked by others. This is a problem that stays with the Christian all the days of his life. But he must remember that even though he is in the world, he is not to be of the sinful world. Because this problem is a lifelong matter, young people need to learn to cope with it early in life.

Youths need to learn to be themselves and not imitations of others. They need to learn to think for themselves rather than blindly following the way of the crowd. If you follow others you will never be your own person. Surely, all should try to be socially acceptable to a degree, friendly, courteous, fair, gentle, pleasant and polite. But all must learn to stand on their own feet and be independent of others to the extent that they do not let others govern their lives. You should never compromise what is true and right before God to get along and go along with anybody. One talent youths must develop is the ability to stand even if they have to stand alone. God’s people have always had to be such people. Who makes up your mind? Who decides what you do? While you are subject to your parents you must allow yourself to be guided by them and their guidance should be according to the Word of God. But you should not let pressure of being accepted, being liked, being popular have the controlling influence over your life. Unless you learn to discipline yourself to stand for truth regardless of others you are subject to being tossed to and fro all your life from one error to another. The guidance given you from the Word of God must be allowed to determine your life. You are most fortunate if you have parents who love you and love the Lord to instruct you in His ways. Let God be your guide. Permitting the crowd to set your standards is fatal to your soul.

ADULT HYPOCRISY

   Youths are troubled over what they perceive to be the hypocrisy in adults. A hypocrite is one who pretends to be what he really is not and really does not intend to be. He does what he does for show. He says one thing but does another. Some of the strongest language of condemnation found in the Bible is in Matthew, chapter twenty-three, where the Lord Jesus condemned hypocrisy. That adults, as well as youths. are often guilty of this pretense is not to be denied.

Children are born into a world where everybody cares for them, every decision is made for them in their early years, and they learn to love and trust the adults around them. They assume what adults say and do is always right. But as youths grow older they come to realize that adults do not always live according to what they say nor are they always what they ought to be. Even those in whom youths have placed their confidence sometimes prove to be a heart-breaking disappointment to them. The response to this awareness that there is often inconsistency among adults sometimes causes some young people to think nobody is honest, nobody cares and nobody really is trying to do what is right. But this response is wrong and the conclusion is wrong. It is foolish to throw overboard all truth because somebody in whom we place confidence does not live according to truth. That is not the fault of the truth. We do not do this in others matters of life. Why should we do it in matters of the Bible, the church and religion? Are you going to quit going to doctors because some of them get sick? Are you going to violate the law because some law enforcement officer violates it? Shall you cease to ride in a car because some driver drives recklessly? Are you going to discard God’s teaching on marriage because some divorce? Are you going to get rid of all your tires because one goes flat?

Nobody is perfect, even adults. Not all adults are hypocrites, however. All who make mistakes are not hypocrites. Adults are human beings and are facing many problems, temptations and threats of which youths are not yet aware. This is not to excuse adults for evil conduct, but it is to simply encourage youths to face realities regarding adults. Only Christ was perfect and only He is the standard by which to measure all things. Even parents are not perfect. Preachers and elders are not perfect. Young people are not perfect either.

It is a good sign that you are reaching a higher level of maturity when you can understand the difference between what a person ought to be and what he actually is and see the difference between what you have been taught and what sometimes people do. Adults may aggravate the problem for youth by their inconsistent lives, but even the youths must remember to set their sights on Christ, not on any human being. While it may be rather disturbing to go from the realm where all is sublime and be shocked into reality that all is not perfect, this is a part of leaving the innocent world of childhood and entering into the world of reality and adulthood. Do not let human frailties shake your confidence in God.

THE PROBLEM OF SIN

Youths, like adults, face the problem of sin. When one sins he sells his soul to Satan. Sin separates one from God. One cannot live his life as God would have him live it if he remains in sin. Everyone must ask, “Will I live in sin, or in Christ?” Each one must make a personal decision in this matter. These are the only two realms available in which we can live. We have to obey the gospel to enter Christ.

Today’s youth must face today’s problem of sin. It comes through drugs, alcoholic beverages (America’s number one drug problem), temptations to immorality, dishonesty, lack of respect for authority and forsaking God. But youth can face these matters and overcome them when they align themselves with their Creator and Judge. Face today, and tomorrow you will be able to face tomorrow. Unless you learn to handle today, what will be the end of you tomorrow? We cannot carry the burdens of yesterday, today and tomorrow at once. Life is to be lived one day at a time, and we are capable, in Christ, to successfully carry our load. We can have joy and gladness as we live and help others carry their load.

Following the crowd, rebelling against God, swallowing whatever you are told by the worldly sort may sound exciting, emotional, new and “cool.” But a good life is accomplished only by being good as God defines good.

THE SOLUTION

  Meeting today’s problems, like all other problems of life, can be met only when there is a strong and Biblical spiritual foundation and guidance. “How shall the young secure their hearts, and guard their lives from sin?” It is by following the Word of God. Youths need not despair nor be discouraged. Life in Christ is a wonderful life, full of purpose and meaning, blessings and benefits, with each day being worthwhile and productive. Problems are challenges and tests of our worth. Problems can become stepping stones rather than stumbling blocks.

When youths and adults work together before God the young can secure their place and be what God intended them to be. Nothing is more challenging than a young life. The future is open and the limits are extended. May God help us and youths everywhere to defeat the devil and bring glory to God in life.

 

 

 

 

 

DON’T LET THE ENEMY STEAL YOUR JOY.

He’ll try you know.

You may not even realize it until it’s too late.

From the moment your feet hit the floor, he’ll do all that he can to distract you, to overwhelm you, to frustrate you, and to stir up worry and strife. Often his ways are subtle, other times they’re clearer. It’s what he does best. Stealing. Killing. Destroying.

Just say “no.”

Don’t let him win.

We have a choice of who we listen to and what we believe.

Recognize who is at the root of it all, and push past his lies, step over his traps.

God gives us the power through His Holy Spirit to live free from the entanglement of sin. He gives us the power to live strong. He gives wisdom and discernment to make the right choices. He gives joy deep inside. He offers the assurance, that no matter what we face, He is with us.

His truth says this, 8 loving reminders:

“The joy of the Lord is my strength.” Neh.8:10

“Greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world.” 1 John 4:4

“No weapon that is formed against you will prosper…” Is.54:17

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John 10:10

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” Rom.15:13

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.” James 1:2

“This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” Ps.118:24

“For you shall go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and the hills before you shall break forth into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.” Is. 55:12

He is with you…

My prayer for you each day is……….

At the start of each day, help us to recognize you above all else. Enlighten the eyes of our heart that we might see you, and notice how you’re at work through our lives. Give us wisdom to make the best choices, fill us with a desire to seek after you more than anything else in this world. Let your Spirit and power breathe in us, through us, again, fresh and new. Thank you that you are greater than anything we may face in our day. Thank you that your presence goes with us, and that your joy is never dependent on our circumstances, but it is our true and lasting strength, no matter what we’re up against. We ask that your peace lead us, that it would guard our hearts and minds in you. We ask for your grace to cover our lives this day. We love you Lord…we need you.

In Jesus’ Name,

Amen.