Many Christian marriages are suffering today because we
have lost sight of God’s purpose for marriage. Not only that,
we are disobeying this biblical injunction: “Give NO PLACE to
the devil”( Ephesians 4:27).
Most of us have today given the devil a front row seat in our
marriages without realising it. For immediately we do not
understand the word of God on a subject, and pursue it
earnestly, the word of Satan begins to seek to take control of
that area of life. This is because there is no vacuum in the
realm of the spirit. It is either God or Satan – there’s no
middle ground.
The level of abuse, torture, beating, maiming, and killing that
we now see in our marriages is a stark evidence of who is in
control of most marriages today – even Christian marriages.
As the church of today continues to rebel against God, our
home-fronts are bearing the fruits of our carnality. And our
children are suffering (and will yet suffer) for our waywardness
(unless we repent).
Because the church is fast losing her way on the word of God,
most of the Christian counselling that is available today are
very carnal – not spiritual. A lot of these counselling have
been tainted with our contemporary society’s views on
marriage, and on the role of men and women in the sacred
institution of marriage. This alignment with the world’s view
has taken us further away from God’s view. And today, most
of us will struggle to accept God’s undiluted ordinance for the
marriage institution. Subtly, our carnal minds are at enmity
against God on the subject of marriage!
This extensive background has been written to make this
point: anybody that wants God’s undiluted truth on the
subject of marriage will have to dig very deep to find the
truth. And to be also ready to pay the steep price for this
truth. Such a person will have to go very, very far away from
the carnal menu that the church serves today in the name of
marriage seminars/counselling, etc. When confronted with the
truth, then we can decide if we want to pay the price or not.
And when we neglect to pay the price, the purpose of God for
our lives and our homes will suffer. And one day, both here
and in eternity, we will pay the steep price for the neglect –
one way or the other.
This article is aimed at SCRATCHING THE SURFACE of the
truth of God’s word on marriage, in relation to the existing,
carnal reality of our contemporary society. The hope is that
those who are really interested in the truth will begin to
earnestly THIRST AND PRAY for the truth so that THE TRUTH
will manifest Himself to all those that truly desire to seek His
ways in the area of marriage – and, more importantly, to do
The first and greatest mistake that we can make in evaluating
the multi-faceted crises that are engulfing our marriages
today, is to adduce it to some kind of war of the sexes – male
and female. To commit this blunder is to lose sight of the
bigger picture that provides the backdrop for the challenges
we are experiencing today.
And that bigger picture is that we are living in a period of the
greatest social engineering that mankind would ever
experience. This social engineering is designed to make men
more WOMANLY, and to make women more MANLY. In this
way, equality of the sexes will be achieved, celebrated, and
exalted in the human society. The mastermind of this social
engineering is SATAN. And the ultimate goal is to make the
human society dysfunctional by fracturing family units (the
smallest unit of society).
The long-term strategy is to set man and woman against
each other by distorting the clear roles that God ordained
when He created the family unit in the Garden of Eden. So,
this is really NOT a conflict between males and females per
se, this is Satan attempting to battle God using human beings
as pawns. Whereas Satan has a ‘right’ to attempt this
audacity in the world system (for that is his present sphere of
dominion), it is a complete aberration that his project is
gaining grounds in the church – the household of God.
As a result of this masterstroke of satanic ingenuity in the
social engineering project, conflicts are ensuing and
multiplying in the home-front. And while husband and wife are
squabbling over roles and responsibilities, God’s purpose is
suffering massively. Our children are suffering massively. And
Satan is gleefully rubbing his bony hands in celebration. Just
as he must have celebrated when he upturned the tranquillity
of the Garden of Eden – using the EXACT method he is again
using today. Urging women to upstage the male role in God’s
At this stage, those who have little understanding of these
matters will take to arms – “Here we go again, they are
blaming women. Is it women that are ruining the home-front?
Are women not the main victims in most homes, and victims
of domestic abuse? Etc…”
This attitude falls into the trap mentioned earlier. Ignoring the
REAL SOURCE of the problem, and creating a foolish battle of
the sexes. For it was not the woman that woke up one day
and decided to rebel against God. She was pushed. Pushed by
Satan. Pushed for taking her eyes off God’s word. Pushed for
TRUSTING her senses instead of trusting God’s words (“… the
woman saw that the tree was GOOD for food, and that it was
PLEASANT to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one
WISE…” (Genesis 3:6).
It is this same concept of ‘the good’ and ‘the expedient’ that
Satan is again using today to draw women into fresh frontiers
– and at times, into forbidden territories. If we all (men and
women), believe that the devil is still prowling today, looking
for whom to devour, we’ll recognise the danger and quickly
FIX OUR GAZE on God and His words ALONE. For outside
Him, we can never, ever, ever withstand the smartness of the
devil. Please give that to the devil (however grudgingly) – he
is smart!!! That is why we need God. And that is why we need
to keep our gaze on Him 101%. If we keep our gaze on God,
He will point us in ONLY one direction – THE CROSS OF
He will point us to the cross, not only to appreciate the
awesome work that Christ did for us, but also to remind us of
our responsibility in embracing that cross and carrying it
joyfully to align with God’s will and purpose for our lives. To
dodge the cross, as our generation is doing today, is to dodge
God. And to dodge God is to fall into the waiting hands of
Satan. And this is why our marriages are suffering today. We
are dodging the cross that God threw into the marriage
institution for our good. And for our guidance away from the
wiles of the evil one.
Nowhere is this marriage cross clearer in the Bible than in 1
Peter 2:11 – 1 Peter 3:8. (I am refraining from being more
specific in the direct, relevant, and applicable verses as this is
a public forum, and it is not ALL God’s truth that ALL
Christians can handle at ALL times). As matured Christians
meditate on these Scriptures before God, the cross that God
planted in the marriage institution will jump out at them. At
times, it is important to search for the truth by ourselves, so
that God can speak directly to our hearts.
Without clearly seeing this cross, and embracing it, the
marriage of a believer will NEVER, EVER fully accomplish
God’s will. Without the cross, the marriage of a believer will
not be much different from that of unbelievers. And this is
why the divorce statistics of American believers are almost
measuring up to those of the unbelieving community. In more
conservative societies, the divorce trend is pointing in that
same direction, and may one day get there – if Christ tarries!
Without the cross, there is no difference between a believer
and an unbeliever.
Generally speaking, our churches are in open rebellion against
God. And those that will survive these perilous days will look
far outside the church to find meaning in God, in their
marriages, and in their lives. Conventional wisdom is NOT
godly wisdom. The wise will understand. Please let us all be
wise. Let us all make our marriages Satan-proof by
embracing the cross that God Himself planted in the marriage
institution. As challenging as that cross is, as painful as it is,
May the Lord strengthen us to deny ourselves, carry our cross
daily, and follow Christ in the narrow path. Amen.
Thanks for reading, God bless.



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